You found an alum from your university at McKinsey, BCG, or Bain.
So the next step is obvious: ask for a referral.
Not quite.
The fastest referral request can be the easiest one to ignore.
An alum is not deciding whether you seem polite enough to deserve a link. They are deciding whether attaching their name to your application feels reasonable.
That decision usually starts before you ask.
The referral question begins one conversation earlier
Imagine two students send the same message after a coffee chat:
“Would you be comfortable referring me for the Business Analyst role?”
One gets a yes. The other gets a vague “happy to keep in touch.”
Same sentence. Different setup.
The difference is what happened before it.
If your conversation showed clear interest, thoughtful questions, a credible reason for consulting, and some evidence that you can communicate like a future colleague, the referral request feels like the natural next step.
If the alum still barely knows you, it feels like a favor from a stranger.
Your script cannot manufacture trust.
It can only avoid wasting the trust you already built.
| What you are tempted to do | What the alum may hear | The sharper move |
|---|---|---|
| Ask for a referral in the first email | “I need something from you” | Ask for 15 minutes of perspective |
| Spend the coffee chat proving yourself | “This feels like an interview” | Be curious, specific, and easy to talk to |
| End with a referral request automatically | “Was this the whole reason?” | Read the strength of the conversation first |
| Write a long follow-up | “Now I have homework” | Keep the ask short and easy to answer |
If you want the full mechanics of who to approach and how referrals work for students, read How to Get a Consulting Referral as an Undergraduate.
The best script changes depending on what happened
Suppose the alum ends the call with:
“Send me your resume. Happy to help.”
Do not respond with three paragraphs explaining your life story.
“Thank you, I really appreciate it. I’ve attached my resume. If you’d feel comfortable referring me for the Analyst role, I’d be grateful.”
Clean. Direct. Easy to answer.
But suppose the conversation went well and they did not mention referrals.
Then the wording needs one extra bridge:
“I really appreciated your perspective on the Toronto office. I’m planning to apply this week. Based on our conversation, would you feel comfortable referring me?”
Notice what is missing.
No apology.
No “I know you’re super busy.”
No five-line explanation of what a referral is.
Confidence is shorter.
But what if the coffee chat was only fifteen minutes?
This is where undergrads often overcorrect.
They assume they need months of relationship building before they can ask.
You usually do not need a deep personal relationship. You need enough interaction for the person to have a reasonable basis for helping you.
That could come from one strong conversation.
Or it might not.
If the call felt rushed, generic, or purely informational, forcing the referral ask can turn a useful connection into a transactional one.
The question is not:
“Have I waited long enough?”
It is:
“Has this person seen enough of me?”
For scripts that specifically bridge a good networking conversation into the ask, read How to Ask for a Referral After a Coffee Chat.
There is one script you should almost never use
“Hi, I saw that you went to my university and now work at Bain. Would you be willing to refer me?”
It is efficient.
That is exactly the problem.
The alum knows nothing about your motivation, judgment, communication, or seriousness. You have reduced the relationship to one shared line on LinkedIn.
Your university connection can open the door.
It does not need to carry you through it.
Earn one real interaction.
Then make the ask simple enough that the answer can be simple too.
And if the alum offers to help before you ask?
Do not rush past that moment.
It may be telling you something.